Baldur’s Gate 3
I’m sorry.
I really tried!
But after eons in the Underdark (40+ in-game hours)… I surrender. I simply can’t manage to like Baldur’s Gate 3. I see and understand what a masterpiece it is. But as a casual gamer… I just can’t muster the desire to return to the land of… checks notes Sword Coast? Right? In order to… What was I supposed to do there again? Get rid of some parasite in my head I suppose. And uh… I have no clue. Fighting goblins and the Absolute – whoever that actually is? Here’s my first accusation, your Honour: as a narrative-based game, BG3 tells its story in an unclear and disconnected manner. Quests don’t quite interlock, locations and characters with generic fantasy names tend to have equally generic traits and are utterly forgettable. The world we’ve found ourselves in remains alien, as the game scarcely teaches us anything – not just about gameplay mechanics, but also the lore. Every encountered NPC interacts with us as if we have a perfect understanding of politics, religion, factions, countries, cities, parallel planes of being, magic, and craftsmanship, as well as people around. There’s absolutely no exposition. Nobody’s introducing the player to the world. It feels like reading The Silmarillion without knowing Lord of the Rings. From it’s middle. In a foreign language. On pages found randomly in random places, sometimes parts of newspapers, sometimes old scrolls. We don’t know what’s important, what’s just a detail, we’re not familiar with this world and we don’t even know if additional reading outside the game could fix that. There are games that have their own Wikipedia, like Stardew Valley, and that hardly spoils the fun, though it’s always better when all key facts are revealed during the gameplay, within the game itself. But that is not the problem. The problem is when we don’t even know what to look for in that Wikipedia, and when we find it, we still don’t understand the explanation. This is the level of narrative chaos you have to grapple with in BG3.
Does it sound fun for a casual or n00b who just wants to play some picturesque fantasy RPG?
The second grievance: the game interface and mechanics. Let’s start with some mitigating factors: the battles are turn-based – no agility required. The game, in its core, is in fact playable on a gamepad. It’s not the best choice, but you can do it.
Apart from that, however, everything is hard and unsatisfactory here. The game teaches us almost nothing about combat (and there’s a ton of it!), not to mention basics of movement or interacting with the world. There is no tutorial, there is no initially lower level of difficulty. We have no idea what happens if we rest too frequently, nor how frequently is “too frequently”. We don’t know whether it’s better to play in a team or individually, what statistics to choose in order to stand a chance in encounters. Ultimately, how to fight properly here? Are ranged attacks or melee ones better and when? How to follow tips like “hurr-durr, use terrain and world objects during battles”? Even after many gameplay hours, our “strategy” will still be based upon “stand high and cast fireballs or shoot arrows”. And all the special attacks and spells we can use once, then we need to rest. And let’s remember: the game suggests – and we don’t know how seriously – that too much resting will make us lose in a way that not even loading a save could fix.
Furthermore: theoretically, every challenge in BG3 has multiple solutions. But if in practice there are five solutions to a problem, two of which are battles we will lose badly, one doesn’t fit our character in any way, and the other two we just can’t figure out… And all the while not knowing that there are five solutions. Because maybe there are only three and we are stuck! Or maybe there are fifteen solutions and something’s wrong with us? Still, we usually choose one of the solutions we’ve noticed. For example, a battle or talking our way out of the situation with clever dialogue. After countless attempts and reloading the game from a save point, we finally manage to get through a battle or dialogue, only to feel… unsatisfied? The impression that we kind of cheated? That we are somehow leading our character astray. It’s like the feeling when we tried to follow the main, straight plot line – plain and simple, but due to a game bug we accidentally ended up off the map and we’re not sure – is this still my quest? Will I discover in three days that I need to load the save from three days ago? In BG3, I constantly feel like a child in the fog. And with time, this feeling only gets stronger.
What’s worse, we also simultaneously and continually have to deal with interface obstacles, like a series of different menus. Quick spells menu is different, quick actions menu is styled differently, and yet another style is given to the inventory menu. Submenus are designed in their own additional styles. When playing with a gamepad, we have an extra challenge: sometimes we control the character, other times – the cursor. All this leaves one feeling clumsy, awkwardly rummaging through all these options in search of something – we vaguely remember – should be there and should work in some way… Option? Spell? Item? It was pink and glowing. Was it a healing thing?
Baldur’s Gate 3 is an exceptional game. For a certain category of gamers. Countless dialog options, great freedom in interactions with the world (though let’s not exaggerate – it’s certainly not a Minecraft-like sandbox), the emphasis put on playing one’s role, the significance of each decision and each battle. Here, conquering a goblin camp is a challenge, and if we overcome it – it will grant us satisfaction proportional to the task. Add to that, a very high level of visuals, excellent voice acting… Yes, this game is unique.
But it will turn out exceptionally unbearable for most casual gamers. Its level of difficulty, complicated interface, and narrative chaos make it nightmarishly daunting. 2/10 and that’s waffling over whether it should be 1/10* But, let’s assume that you already love BG3 sincerely and passionately, and now you want to introduce this magical world to your Significant Other, Who Doesn’t Play Games Much (read: your SO is a total n00b, but they will try a game for your sake, oh well). All pieces are in place – even couch co-op! What can be more beautiful than exploring, experiencing adventures, and fighting side by side with the love of your real-life!? 🥹
No. Don’t do it.
It’s like wanting to introduce people, who have never listened to music, to the beautiful world of melody starting from Chopin, violin or organ music. And if they’re not impressed, you then give them a textbook with sheet music. Start with something lightweight or brace yourself for bitter disappointment. Even if your BG3 convert plays “paper RPGs” but has never had the chance to delve into video games, as this video demonstrates, success is far from guaranteed. There are plenty of games out there offering a solid Izzy Mode. Maybe they’re not groundbreaking, but they’ll serve far better as a gate to the world of gaming than the Baldur’s one.
*An important note here: dear casual, dear n00b. There’s a chance. Perhaps a 1% chance? That this will be the Game of Your Life. That it will grip you with the force with which games ensnared many of us back in the ’90s. That it will be your Fallout, your Pokémon, Diablo, The Sims, Quake, or – indeed – Baldur’s Gate (1 and 2 in ‘90s case). It will morph you from a n00b to a true gamer, or fill your casual gamer life for 5 years, during which you won’t buy another game because why would you need anything else if this one has everything? For you, it’ll be a 10/10, Game of The Year, and something you will rave about to anyone within (or even beyond) earshot, like an evangelising fresh convert. But would you really gamble $50 on a bet with 1 in a 100 odds? You’re here because you don’t want games that are difficult, demanding and at times, frankly boring. Games that suspiciously resemble work. And if that’s the case, I emphatically advise against BG3 – you won’t want to dive in, because the game becomes tiring before even getting your feet wet.
Final Izzy Mode Score for Baldur’s Gate 3
Casual score: how suitable the game is for casual players – casual players who like a challenge from time to time, but generally just wanna’ have fu-u-n🎵 a few hours a week without stress and just for the fun of playing. The higher the score the more casual-friendly the game.
n00b-o-meter: how suitable the game is for n00b players – new players whose gaming career started and ended with Candy Crush, Tetris or browser games or even never played a game and would like to start. The higher the score the more n00b-friendly the game.
General Izzyness Level: between Izzy Mode, Normal, Hard and Nightmare – how would the title score in the difficulty scale known from games?
